The Sweet Life

As my birthday approaches, I can't help but reflect on what my 30th year on earth has taught me.  To say I have a new meaning on life is a massive understatement.  I realize each day is a gift. 

When my life was challenged, pregnant, and not knowing if I was going to be able to watch my children grow older, see their first days of school, enter into high-school, have girlfriends, get hearts crushed, and marry the love of their life, I was devastated. 

I never really asked "why me".   It is not fair for anyone.  I didn't go into a deep depression although, I did have my moments.  Instead I reflected on the life I lived.  I knew I would fight full force and with all of my strength.  But at the same time I was at peace and reflected on all the good in my life. 

My life has been blessed beyond measure.  My husband, family, and friends are a big part of my strength.  Knowing that they would be there undoubtedly for me and my children made everything okay.       

Life is short, but the pleasures are sweeter. 

How sweet it is to wake up every morning and realize nothing much is worth worrying about.  Yes, I will have my stress moments and be down, but when you are forced to confront your mortality, those things just don't seem important.

How sweet it is to have the most amazing friends.  The ones that tell you everything is going to be okay and to be there to cheer me up and bring me dinners when I am down or make me "mixed tapes" to make me smile.  The ones that we can spend the whole night laughing hysterically, and making memories.

How sweet it is to have the most supportive parents and sisters.  That sacrifice so much to help care for me and my family.  The daily coffees, care, laundry, help at all hours of the days and nights to make the kids feel loved and not the burden they could have felt.  The daily or twice daily check ins, the harassment to help, and the laughter got me through the toughest days. Unconditional love is what I think of my family. 

How sweet it is to have my second family, my in-laws.  Always offering to bring delicious gourmet meals and magazines with open arms and open hearts.      

How sweet it is to hear my son M coo in the morning, even if it is 6am and I hardly slept.  How sweet it is to feel the warmth of his body and his tiny hands reaching out to me.  His giggles and chubbiness instantly brightens my days. 

How sweet it is to turn on the radio in the car and watch as X nods his head to the music and the way he looks up to his big brother E.  Or to see his whole face light up when the word candy, treat, or monster is mumbled.  To see his big cheeks and sweet kind hazel eyes every morning and night makes me feel blessed beyond measures.

How sweet it is to watch E grow up into a young man.  To watch him get angry and give himself some quiet time when he is upset, his obsession with super heroes and saving the day, and loving to pick his Mommy flowers so she "can be a princess".  He is a kind boy who had a deep understanding of right and wrong and a goofy personality to boot.      

How sweet it is to see my husband as a father.  I have never seen a man so natural with children as he is.  To watch his face and the kids face light up whenever they play.  To see E look up to him and want to be just like him.  To see the way he looks at X with more love than anything while at the same time calling him a terrorist.  To see him give baby M the biggest belly laughs and find new ways to keep giving him those laughs. 

How sweet it is to be loved.  Loved through thick and thin.  How sweet it is to miss my husband even as he is walking out the door to work.  To get giddy as 6 approaches and knowing he is coming home.  To share the greatest memories and to go through the hardest darkest moments together.  He is my partner in life and my best friend.  The one I look up to for support and my joy.  The one I want to share all of my happiest moments with.  My one true love. 

I hope the message people walk away with is that if or when you get smacked down by the hardships of life (like cancer or divorce, or an accident, or losing a job, or any other unexpected tragedy), go ahead and kick rocks, get pissed and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and do and be exactly what you want.  Have fewer “whys,” more “why nots.” No excuses. No apologies.  Bathe in the sweetness. 

"Fear less, hope more; whine less, breathe more; eat less, chew more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      - Swedish proverb